It's Complicated
by ellendarunner
Summary: Just days after April's almost-wedding fiasco, April is still ignoring Jackson. Alex and Jo keep Jackson company on Christmas Eve because they don't want him to do anything too stupid, but some unexpected visitors show up and things don't go exactly as they're planned.


_So for this to work just pretend April's wedding was just a day or two before Christmas Eve. And I know that I have to update All In but this just came to me and it's kind of Christmas-y so yay. Please enjoy and review _

"Jackson maybe you should stop drinking now."

"Oh shut it Jo. He interrupted a wedding. Let him get smashed."

"Again, you two _really_ don't have to be here. I can handle myself and being alone on Christmas Eve isn't that big of a deal for me."

"Nah man. As hilarious as it would be I'm not going to let you drink yourself into oblivion during the most wonderful time of the year."

"Alex I just asked him to-

"He can get drunk, but to a point. And that's why we're here to supervise."

"I'm sure your idea of not that drunk is going to leave him so hungover that he's going to spend all of Christmas throwing up and-

"Hey," Jackson interrupted, "I'm still in the room. And you two aren't my parents, so you can calm down and let me make my own decisions about how drunk I want to get."

In response to his declaration, Jo and Alex crossed their arms and rolled their eyes… at the exact same time. Damn they were becoming more and more like each other as they continued to date. If Jackson wasn't so upset over the fact that Alex Karev was in a more successful relationship than he had ever been, he would have accused Alex of being a girl, which probably would have made Jo hit him, but he wouldn't have cared. It's not like he wanted to spend Christmas Eve with them. Jo had harassed Alex into the two of them babysitting him because she was worried about him. (She was worried about Stephanie, too, but she had flown home to get out of Seattle for Christmas.) As much as Stephanie was one of her best friends, Jackson was one of Alex's, and she had taken a liking to him, especially after seeing the vulnerable and romantic side of him.

"So I'm assuming you still haven't heard from Kepner."

"Alex," Jo hissed, but Jackson waved it off.

"You don't have to treat me like I'm all sensitive and stuff. I know I screwed up. I ruined her wedding and her marriage and she doesn't even love me back. God, how did I get to be so stupid?"

"It hasn't even been two full days yet. She's probably still in shock. And you saw how she reacted. It's like she knew the second that you stood up that she couldn't marry Matthew. Just give her some time. I think she loves you, but she thought she was going to get married that day. You need to give her time to process."

"How would you know if she loved me?"

"You guys are my bosses. I've seen you guys around. I always thought I must have been imagining the sexual tension because apparently you and Steph were "serious," but I guess I was wrong."

"Yeah I was wrong too… wait shouldn't you hate me?"

"You're a nice guy and what you did might have been really horrible but it was also really freaking romantic. Still, if Stephanie asks I was never here."

"Got it. God, you two coming over made me realize how freaking lonely it is in this apartment. I mean Alex used to live here and… April did, too."

"He's starting to get teary eyed. Jo, take away the vodka NOW."

"I-I'm fine I just… god how did things even get to this point? We were friends and roommates and then she kissed me and we… and then things were good and I wanted to marry her but she… but she realized she made a mistake and I didn't believe her! It's all my fault and now I ruined a chance she had with someone who actually deserved her!"

"Ok Jackson look at me," Jo said, grabbing his arm and looking him in the eye, "I don't know the complicated history between the two of you, but she shouldn't have been marring Matthew, ok? She doesn't love him, at least not in the right way. I don't know what is or isn't your fault when it comes to her but you did not ruin that marriage. It was ruined before it began."

"Yeah man, listen to her. I never liked that paramedic of Kepner's anyway. It'll be ok dude," Alex said, obviously uncomfortable with being emotionally supportive in such a way, but also a little freaked out and worried about seeing Avery like that.

Jackson took a deep breath, trying to calm him himself, but his efforts were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. He put his head on the table and groaned. He was starting to feel dizzy from the alcohol and he wasn't feeling emotionally well up to any visitors, either.

"I'll go get rid of whoever it is," Alex offered.

Jo slid over to sit next to Jackson and started to lightly rub his back. She had obviously been right to try and cut Jackson off earlier. The alcohol wasn't making him feel better, it was just making him feel more depressed.

"Hey now's really not the time- oh hey Mama Avery. I was definitely not expecting it to be you," Alex chuckled nervously.

"Where is he? And why hasn't he been answering my calls and texts?"

"Where is who?"

"Very funny Alex. Where is my son? My son, Jackson."

"He's uhh… he's not here."

"If he's not here, then why are you in his apartment?"

"Jo and I are here to watch his cat… he got a cat! And he's not here because he and Stephanie are on a cruise- a holiday cruise! And there's not good reception on the boat, which is why he hasn't been answering his phone. Jackson would never ignore me."

"Oh honey, Jackson always ignores me. But Richard said he overheard something happened with him that I should be concerned about, but he didn't know what because he's been at the hospital dealing with an intern that went haywire and almost killed a man-

"Oh yeah that was my dad. Well, my biological dad. He's not family."

"Uhh, ok then. I'm sorry to hear that, I think. But could you kindly move so I could go make sure Jackson is ok? Richard made it sound like something might really be wrong. He overheard him snapping at some nurses, which is not like my son."

"Jackson's not here. He's on that cruise."

"Alex honey, I am quite fond of you but if you don't tell me what's actually going on here I might have to make you a candidate for the second penis transplant ever performed in the United States."

"Jackson interrupted Kepner's wedding. He stopped it to tell her that he loved her and she didn't marry Matthew but she ran away and is ignoring Jackson, so now he's kind of drunk and possibly crying so now's not really a great time. Maybe you can come back later."

"Move."

"Please, do come in."

"Jackson?"

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"The better question is what are you doing clearly intoxicated on Christmas Eve and not answering your mother's calls?"

"See, it's a long-

"Alex told me. Baby why weren't you the one to tell me? I mean I've always loved April… I would have helped you stop that wedding but not right when it was happening. Why did you wait? And whatever happened with Stephanie? I didn't have too high of an opinion of her but last time I checked you too were serious."

"I don't know. I don't know the answer to any of those questions. I know I'm stupid and a terrible person and I don't deserve any of you three being here so why don't you all just let me be drunk and miserable alone?"

"Come here."

"Mom-

"Come here, baby boy."

Begrudgingly he agreed, leaning over to the side and into his mother's open arms. She began to rock him back and forth gently, just as she had done when he was much younger.

"Mom, I love you, but can we not move back and forth? I can't really see straight as it is."

Sighing, she agreed and took to stroking up and down his arm instead.

"Honey, how much have you had to drink?"

"You don't want to know," he muttered.

"I wanted to cut him off earlier but Alex wouldn't let me."

"Shut up. Uh, you got it Ms. Avery?"

"Yeah, I can take it from here. Merry Christmas, you too. Drive safely."

"We will. Merry Christmas, Dr. Avery."

It was silent in the apartment for several minutes. Catherine continued to just hold her son while he closed his eyes. He would never admit it, but being in his mother's arms felt nice after the events of the past two days. He was just about to fall asleep when his mother gently shook him.

"Let's get you to bed, baby."

"Don't want to move."

"I know you don't, but if fall asleep all crooked like this you'll be feeling even worse in the morning. It's not that far of a walk, baby."

"Fine."

His walking wasn't as straight as it normally was, but it wasn't bad enough to make it too hard to get to bed. His mom insisted on tucking him in like she used to when he was a child. She leaned down to kiss his forehead and to whisper that it would all be ok before leaving the room. She leaned against the now closed door to Jackson's room and had to blink back the tears starting to sting at the back of her eyes. She hated to see her son like this; drunk and depressed. He may be thirty, but he was still her baby and she wished she could magically fix this whole situation (that she really didn't know much about) for him.

Catherine had finally managed to fall asleep after being kept up worry about her son when for the second time that night, there was a second unexpected knock on the door. Grumbling to herself about how if it were that Edwards girl she was going to lose it, she opened the door and almost didn't believe who was standing in the doorway for a moment.

"Dr. Avery! I didn't- I didn't know you'd be here. I mean I guess I should've know you'd be here. I mean it's Christmas Eve and that's what families do right? They get together on Christmas Eve and are you know, in each other's apartments? So yeah, I really should have known that you'd be here. So I'm going to go now. I'm going to go and you just have a great night and I'm sorry-

"April. For the love of god, April, you get in this apartment right now."

"No, I mean, you're celebrating with your son and having family time and-

"That was an order, April, not a suggestion."

"Oh… ok. I guess I'll come in then. Here I come…"

"Just get in."

"Got it."

"I can wake Jackson up, but let me warn you that he was very drunk when he went to bed so I don't know what state he's going to be in right now."

"So, if he was drunk I'm guessing you know about… the wedding."

"Yes, but not from him. Karev told me. Him and his girlfriend were over here for a while before I came over. Jackson was ignoring my calls."

"Yeah, Jackson tends to ignores a lot of calls."

"You were calling him and he was ignoring it?"

"No, no I meant like calls from the universe."

"Oh. Well that doesn't surprise me either. He's a very smart man but sometimes he can be quite dense about matters of the heart."

"Yep. Sounds like Jackson."

"April?"

"I'll give you two some time alone," said Catherine, shooting her son a meaningful look before retreating to the bedroom she was sleeping in.

"April I-

"Can barely stand. Here, come sit down with me," she said, taking his hand and leading him towards the couch. Jackson's nerves were soothed just a tiny bit. If she was touching him, she couldn't be too mad, right? As if she was reading his mind, she answered his question right away.

"I'm not mad anymore. I was really mad before, and I had a right to be. You had to wait until my wedding day? I mean I had given up with you and had 100% decided on marrying Matthew. But then I realized that I never should've been marrying Matthew in the first place, and that you just saved me from making one of the biggest mistakes of my life. But I've got to ask, were you telling the truth? Did you mean all that… everything that you said?"

"Every word of it."

"Then why didn't you say it earlier? I gave you a chance, right after I got engaged. I told you to give me a reason not to get married!"

"I thought you didn't mean it!"

"Why? I screamed and cried and hit you because I thought you were d-dead! I thought that showed that I cared about you."

"I didn't believe you because the last time you said you wanted me, you didn't mean it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I wanted to get married, April!

"Wh-what? Oh," said April, realization dawning on her. It all made sense now. Their breakup, his distrust of her, him not believing that she wanted him… it all stemmed from that one night on a bench outside of the hospital.

"Jackson, I-I never meant to hurt your feelings."

"I know but-

"No, you don't know. You know that I didn't mean to but what you don't know is that I didn't react the way I did because I didn't want to marry you or have a kid with you."

"Then why were you so freaking happy?"

"When you proposed and we kissed I was so happy. But then we had to leave the on call room and I started thinking and I- I just thought you were only saying all those things because you felt guilty."

"No. April, no-

"I know that now, Jackson. Believe me, I know that now."

"So… what happens now?"

"We go to bed. Because you can't keep your eyes open and I don't think we should be discussing our future with you like this."

"But we definitely have a future, right?"

"Yes. I didn't call off my wedding for nothing. I love you, Jackson, I really do."

"I love you too, April."

"Now come on, let's go to bed."

"This is the second time tonight that someone has made me move from a perfectly comfortable sleeping spot to walk all the way to bed," he moaned.

"Does it help that I'll be lying next to you this time?"

"More than you will ever know."

Sure, there was still a lot that they had to talk through and work through later. Were they going to start fresh? Were they going to just go and get married? Still, with all the questions looming in her mind and knowing that she'd spend a good deal of Christmas taking care of a hungover Jackson, April was a lot happier than she'd been in a long time.


End file.
